Panel 1
Chauncey and Melissa sit on the couch. Chauncey's going through a box labelled "letters."
Melissa: What you got there, babe?
Chauncey: It's a box of letters my grandma kept around. I'm trying to find a nice one to read at her funeral.
Melissa: Aw. that's so sweet.
Panel 2
Chauncey reads the letter. It says:
Dear Odette,
I cannot believe how you've betrayed my confidence. When I told you about my labial acne, that was meant to stay between us. Your gossiping has made me a local laughing stock and for that I can never forgive you.
-Lisa McGee
Panel 3
Melissa laughs.
Melissa: Heh, oh my.
Panel 4
Chauncey picks up another letter.
Chauncey: Wow, well, she did say she was a bit of a rascal in her youth.
Panel 5
Chauncey reads the letter. It says:
To the cheating Jezebel,
I might not be able to prove it, nut I saw you seducing Judge Burkin behind the pumpkin tent. What a surprise that you also won first prize... I know the integrity of a small town's apple pie contest might not matter to a big-city floozy like you, but rest assured, God will judge you. I pray you find repentance before it is too late.
Sincerely,
Susan Hitch,
3rd Runner Up,
Furgville Annual Apple Pie Contest '48
Panel 6
Chauncey rubs his head in distress.
Chauncey: W-why would she keep something like this around?
Panel 7
Chauncey reaches for another letter while Melissa stands behind him.
Melissa: Keep going, there has to be something good in there.
Panel 8
Chauncey holds up the last letter. It says:
Dear Mrs. LeChat,
For the last time, we will not racially segregate our county's classrooms, now or ever. Not only are you ideas ugly and outdated, they are outright incompatible with modern society. Any further communication from you in regard to this matter will be thoroughly ignored.
Regards,
Mark O'Clery,
County Superintendent
P.S. I saw the letter you sent the school board calling me a "drunken bogtrotter." All I have to say is, shame on you.
Panel 9
Chauncey and Melissa look horrified.
Panel 10
Melissa: Are you okay?
Chauncey: She... She's not who I thought she was.
Panel 11
Melissa, noticing something, reaches into the box.
Panel 12
Melissa holds up a photo. She and Chauncey look at it. Chauncey's eye bulge out, looking mortified.
Melissa: Whoa, Chaunce', you grandma was limber back in 1938! How'd she get her leg all the way over her head like that?
Panel 13
Chauncey, wearing a black suit, gives a speech at his grandma's funeral.
Chauncey: My grandma was... a lot of things to a lot of people. But I think what she'll be remembered best for is her... f-flexibility. Bother moral and... otherwise.
Patreon Promo
A sepia tone photo of a cat woman lifting her leg above her head, winking.
Cat woman: Bonus panel at patreon.com/kewkoh
You don't wanna miss it, sailor.
